Talking About Death After Watching Cap'n Barb's Ashes Get Shot Out of a Cannon
(visiting the absurd)
When I die, I want my ashes to be shot out of a cannon. Do you think we could make that happen?
Yes, that was pretty spectacular.
Ok. Could we make sure they hit a bad man or something? I want my ashes to kill a bad man on the way out. Any bad man. You choose.
This might be the best funeral request I’ve ever heard.
I mean it.
You’re the funniest person I know. Probably because you’re the saddest.
I know.
(silence)
You remember that I asked you to tell the world when I die that the children and animals loved me the most?
Yes.
Do you still want that one song we talked about played at your funeral?
Yes, but I’ve nixed the boat and am leaning toward a massive pyre.
Wow. Ok. I would have failed at the boat thing anyway. I can do this.
Plus, the David Allan Coe song wouldn’t have been heard from shore.
Yes.
Why did you ask me about the first thing?
The dying thing?
Yeah.
I get scared a lot. And tired. And I feel misunderstood. So I think about it sometimes.
Please don’t die.
I will, someday.
Ok, just not yet.
Ok.
Jesus.
I love you.
I love you.
Ok.
Ok.
I wish I could have seen this farewell to Captain Barb. Maybe this becomes an island tradition. (?) We will somehow have to coax the bad men to stand in the right place- by drawing their big egos there. I hope you stay around for a long, long time. More adventures to be had in this strange earthly realm. Love you. xo
I am weeping. What a thing it is, to be a human and to be alive and to know you will not be someday. Thank you, thank you, thank you.